Building Better Relationships by Ms. Sonia Blandford

Building Better Relationships by Ms. Sonia Blandford

Both theory of choice and realistic therapy were created by Dr. William Glaser, a psychologist. The main principle of choice theory is that while people ultimately control all of their thoughts and behaviors and can therefore choose them almost, they do not control the thoughts or behaviors of others. Glasser believes that you cannot control the behaviors of others. All they can do is give or receive information and then other people decide what their thoughts and actions are.

When people try to control others and shape them in their version of how things should be, they tend to use the seven separate habits of external control that can destroy relationships. These behaviors can lead to people withdrawing or sometimes using these habits. If you are at the receiving end of these habits, remember what you felt. I imagine you didn't enjoy this experience.

7 separation habits,

• criticism
• blaming
• Complaint
• Annoying
• A threat
• Punish
• Bribery

Glasser lists seven connected habits that support good and healthy relationships. When people use these behaviors, the effect is usually that people want to invest more time in a relationship.

7 communication habits

• Support
• Encouragement
• Listen
• Acceptance
• Confidence
• respect
• Negotiate differences.

Glasser suggested that if you find yourself using a separation habit, try instead to use a differentiated connection habit. There is a credit card published as "habit cards". People are encouraged to carry them and reflect on their behavior towards others.

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Giving up the use of separation habits can be difficult. The Minds and Hearts therapist may be able to help you abandon a specific outage habit if you are having difficulty. They can also help you develop and practice communication habits that help build positive relationships.